Sunday, March 08, 2009

Introducing Mr. Wiggums Von Beauregard

Almost 3 weeks later and I'm finally getting around to introducing you all to our new family member. This one I didn't have to give birth to.

Meet Mr. Wiggums Von Beauregard.

We've plunged back into the world of pet ownership. It's been about 5 1/2 or 6 years since we had a dog and I was really itching to get one. So, 3 weeks ago today, actually, I started looking online for a dog. Our local animal shelter didn't have any photos listed but our local ARF had some dogs listed online. I saw that face and had to have him! He was already named Wiggums and was listed as possibly being a mix of American Bulldog and German Wire-haired pointer. Or something like that. I knew we needed a sturdy dog because, let's face it, our children are both clumsy and rough. A little bitty yapper dog wouldn't do.

I kept pulling his picture up and showing Bubba and the kids. I emailed it to Bubba. I ~~begged~~ hinted. The next day, Monday, I texted Bubba. He'd already checked into it and ARF did not adopt on Mondays but he got an appointment at 1pm the next day.

By about 1:15 the next day, we had our dog! He was $95. (Thank you tax check! Hello, more economy stim!) I didn't have any problem paying that since ARF is a good cause and also it's better than paying hundreds for a breed dog. I have nothing at all against breed dogs. I just can't afford one, that's all.

Bubba spent an additional $40 getting his car unlocked since he left his keys in the car then headed over to the school to pick up the kids.

Wiggums promptly barfed in the car.

Dog food, dog bowls, dog toys, dog leashes, dog brushes = even more economy stimulation. (What recession?)

Wiggums pluses:

Housetrained. Yay! No running around cleaning up piles and puddles.
Doesn't beg (too much) while we are eating. He'll watch us cook. He'll stand right in the way. When we sit to eat, he sniffs. His head is as tall as our kitchen table so he could grab and run if he so chose. But, once we tell him to sit, he finds a spot and sits/lies until we are done.
Is not mean at all. We once owned a dog straight from the Devil himself so this is just amazingly wonderful.
Already fixed.
Is awesome.

Wiggums not-so-pluses:

Sheds white hair EVERYWHERE.
Slobbers. A lot.
Ear-splitting loud bark when he needs to go outside.
Rendered into immobile dead weight once he is asleep meaning he often steals my side of the bed and leaves me with a postage stamp sized area of bed on which to sleep.
Snores almost as loud as, if not louder, than Bubba.
He's gone through about 8 rawhide bones, one of which was a rather large one, already.

So, anyway, the very next morning, less than 24 hours after we got him, he got off his chain. And then I died. After resuscitation, I ran out the front door as Bubba went out the back, and I saw him standing across the street. And there was a car coming. Now, you know on TV when a character sees something ominous about to happen and that thing DOES happen, only in slow motion? Yeah, that was almost how it went. I could just see him getting splattered all over the street. I called him once and he just trotted across the street all nonchalant-like. Dang dog.

A few days later, he got off his chain AGAIN. (We've since remedied the problem but not before it happened approximately eleventy times.) Bubba wasn't home so Brianna and I were outside trying to catch him which resulted in me standing around crying, yes, literally, as she chased and eventually watched as the neighbor caught him. Quite easily, I might add. Dang dog.

Wiggums has inserted himself into the family well. He loves for the kids to brush him (it's one of their daily chores, now), he's decided that he does like ice now and comes when he hears the ice dispenser on the fridge, and he has commandeered the new couch(es) which have now had to be covered at all times because of the HAIR. My lord THE HAIR! He likes for me to blow air on him from my hair dryer and will plop his butt right onto my feet as I am drying my hair to let me know he is ready. He often goes with Bubba to pick the kids up from school and spends lots of time upstairs in Brianna's room sleeping on her bed.

Yep, he's officially one of us.