Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Seriously, dude. Leave or I will hack on you.

Saturday, it felt like allergies. Sunday, more of the same, add a little coughing. Monday it was all in my upper chest and I treated the office to my hacking and germs. I'm nice like that.

Last night, I felt like crap with a capital CRAP so I drugged up on Nyquil, excuse me...Nite Time (wal-mart brand)...and slept. Woke up feeling crappier. Called in to work. More Nyquil and went back to bed.

So I get up at 1 something and then Bubba left at 2 and a short time later the doorbell rang. Yeah, NOT gonna answer that. I was in pjs and had some serious bed-head goin' on and was wearing no bra and basically I just didn't feel like it. So, I just sat still and hoped they would leave. Whomever "they" might be. But then came a knock. It was the knock that my parents ALWAYS do. I know you know it. "knock knock, knockknock KNOCK, knock knock. I thought it must be my dad. So, like a fool, I opened the door. (note to self: Always peek through blinds to see if you recognize a vehicle out front.)

There stood some guy in some sort of uniform, ID badge around his neck, binder in hand.
Pleasantries exchanged. Then he says, "Are you the boss here?" I ALMOST looked around to see if I was at work.

Me: "The boss?"
He: "Yes."
Me: "Depends on who is asking."
He: "Oh, I'm (insert name here) from (insert company name I didn't catch)." And the schpeel begins.
Me: Completely spacing out.
He: "Blah blah...Honeywell...blah blah..How long have you lived here?...blah blah..security...blah blah...fire department...blah blah...doors..blah blah...keychain...wood doors...blah blah...metal doors...
Me: "Not a homeowner." hint hint, dude
He: "Do you mind if I look at your backdoor?"
Me: "That's fine. But I am not interested in what you have to sell."

He: Pause. "Can I ask why?"
Me: "I'm just not."
He: "You're not interested but you don't have a reason."
Me: "Right."
He: "Well, which of your neighbors would be the best to offer this deal?"
Me: "I don't know."
He: "You've lived here for 10 years but you don't know your neighbors?" (dude was seriously walking on thin ice..getting more sarcastic. I was ready to hack up a mouthful of phlegm and spit it on him. Luckily, there was a screen door between me and him.)
Me: "I know my neighbors but I am NOT sending you to any of their houses on purpose. I am not giving you names."
He: "Ok. Have a good one."
Me: "Thank you." Close and lock door. Run and check back door to make sure it is locked.

Now I wish I had caught his name and the name of the company. I would have called his superiors and tattled on him for being a sarcastic ass. Damn that Nite Time for making my head all fuzzy.

posted by Angie @ 6:06 PM

2 Comments:

At 2:20 AM, Gry said…

Hot damn! What a dude.. Even though he didn't sell YOU something, you can always hope he walked away with a little more than he bargained for, heh!
At 3:33 PM, Jean-Luc Picard said…

People that attitude shouldn't be doing that. You told him what for, though!