Sunday, July 23, 2006

Don't MAKE me go all fat redneck mama on your a**!

Teenagers and their immaturity I can handle. If they want to make fun of something benign or even ME, hey, have at it. But you mess with my KIDS...and my neck turns red so fast it will blind you.

Last Tuesday, we went to band/guard practice to see how things were coming along since the first competition was set for Thursday. When I say we, I mean me, Bubba, Tater and Baby J. We were watching and listening and the kids were riding their bikes on the track around the football field. (the band practices on a small field to the right of the bleachers just off the football field.)

At one point, the band takes a fifteen minute break and some of the kids get their drinks and go sit on the bleachers. My kids were running around on the track and riding their bikes. Well, Miss Tater, who is 4 soon-to-be 5 was on her bike and apparently had an itch in her...nether region...which she proceeded to scratch at in front of God and everyone. (mind you, she is still riding her bike. she is SUCH a multi-tasker)I got on to her a couple of times...telling her why that is NOT appropriate and do we need to make a bathroom run, etc.

She rides around and does it again and I hear a small group of three kids (a boy and 2 girls) laughing really loudly. I turned to look and yes, they are looking at Tater. No big deal. Tater is oblivious and they aren't hurting anything. BUT...it continues. I give them the evil eye. THEN I hear one of them say, "Oh, she was just itching." The one girls says, and loudly, "No she wasn't! She was GRINDING on that seat!" and she proceeded to make grinding motions on the bleacher seat and she was just LAUGHING and laughing.

Oh no she DI'NT!!!

I asked Bubba if he heard it and he just thought they were talking about something else. I said, "They're looking right at Tater and I heard exactly what she said." I'm so mad I am almost crying (which is my redneck mama downfall. I can't ACTUALLY yell at anyone because I cry when I am mad which renders me almost completely mute.) So, Bubba gives them the evil eye and the boy says, "Hey, that is Brianna's dad down there." The loudmouth girl says, "I don't care....something something Brianna...something something." I was too mad to hear it all.

Break ends and the offending loudmouth has to walk right by me to get back to the field and I stare her down. Her eyes kept shifting from me and back forward. I watched her all the way back to her spot and then planted my redneck mama butt a little closer so she knew I was watching. (How very mature and intimidating of me. Awesome.)

Blah blah blah..more story more story...ending with the band director calling her later that night. (yes, I have become THAT parent.)

The next day, the girl comes up to Brianna at practice and says, "I wasn't talking about your sister yesterday. I was talking about some girl who was at my bus stop and your sister reminded of her." (Or some lame-ass crap like that.) Whatever. She asked if we were going to be there and Brianna tells her, "No, I don't think so. They are a little too heated still."

Girl is lucky I am not REALLY a redneck mama. I just play one on my blog.

Practicing.

Guard Girl applying sunscreen AFTER she got fried.

posted by Angie @ 12:22 PM

2 Comments:

At 6:00 PM, Shannon akaMonty said…

You are SUPPOSED to be immature and intimidating, because that's all those brats understand. :)

Good job! (and I cry too when I get pissed off~you are not alone).
At 6:36 AM, Anonymous said…

you go, girl ... nobody talks about little kids that way, especially not in front of relatives and ESPECIALLY not in front of MAMA!!!! teenagers are sooooo clue-less sometimes.