Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, Angie goes and rents her blog out to me, The Fat Boy. Now, why in the world would a nice woman, a giving mother, a devoted wife, a trusted member of the Housewife Mafia, rent her blog to a perverted heathen like me? And the answer is...

I'm a feminist.

At first glance, one would look at my blog and see nothing but a pig. Some goofy frat boy, trying to make people laugh, and look at a jiggle here or there. He objectifies women! How terrible is that? But I know from my experience, there are a lot of women in the world who wish they were "objectified" a little bit more.

If I am a pig, a sexist... then what exactly is Madison Avenue? Personally, I love women of all shapes and sizes. However my personal inclination is to look towards a woman a bit curvier than the norm. I love naturally curvy women. I think that they are beautiful. Cosmo thinks they need to put down the Hagen-Daas, and get on the step machine.

How can a woman watch an hour of television, or read a magazine, and feel attractive these days, unless she is a size 3? When the media beats into your head for hours upon hours every day for your entire life, that "fat" is not sexy, what is a woman to believe?

I believe that women who sustain their lives on a half a bagel a day are not at all attractive. I fail to understand how one can look at a magazine ad, see a woman wearing 50 pounds of tacky makeup (in a design never before seen in public), with her ribs showing... with an expression of detachment... and see sexy. It simply does not compute.

So call it how you want to. If you want to think that I am a sexist pervert, well so be it. I'll keep doing what I do, and have fun doing it. I remember reading a quote from a fashion designer once, who explained the reason he didnt make clothes bigger than a size 7 is because he didn't think women should ever be bigger than a size 7. And I am the sexist? I'll make a deal. The fashion world, and the "beautiful" people can keep the size 7's and below. I'll take the size 9's. And the 11's.... the 13's.... 15's....