Friday, June 10, 2005
My serious post--part2
If you haven't read part one, it is just below this one. :)

Around 11:30pm that first night, a nurse came in to see me. I like to call her Barbie. She was blonde and petite. In a nice little sing songy voice she says. "Your little one has given us a little bit of a problem tonight." (she's smiling the whole time, mind you.) In the same voice she continued. "He was laboring to breathe and wasn't getting any better so we had to put him on a ventilator." (more smiles) I think the room began to spin at about that time. I was speechless. She then told me the doc would be in shortly to explain and she left. She LEFT! I was in my room all alone thinking all kinds of thoughts waiting for the doctor to come in. I waited for what seemed like an hour or more, but was probably only a few minutes and the doc finally came in. He explained that Baby J had a pneumothorax (air around lung/collapsed lung) on the left side and they had to put in a chest tube. (I am pretty sure I just sat there in stunned silence with my mouth hanging open.) His oxygen levels weren't staying up on the oxygen alone and he was laboring to breathe so they placed him on the ventilator. He expected this to help and said he would be back later. Stunned and crying and alone. I was so scared! I called Bubba and he grabbed up the kids and took them to my parents' house and picked up my mom to come with him to the hospital.

So Bubba and my mom show up and he paces and wanders the halls and we wait for the doc to come back and explain to them. Bubba was as white as a ghost the whole time. He visited Baby J off and on all night and I STILL didn't get to see him. The next morning, they had to put a chest tube in the right side and he had air around his heart in between his lungs which we were told would dissolve itself.
This is how I saw him next.

Look at those little eyes open. This broke my heart. Tears flowed freely from mommy. Posted by Hello

One of the hardest moments ever was when I went in to visit him and the nurse was having to check his blood for whatever reason and she stuck his heel and I watched his face twist into a grimace...but he couldn't cry. He couldn't cry because of the vent. I bawled. They had to get me a chair so I could sit down. That just killed me that he couldn't cry when he was hurt.

By Thursday, March 20th, his condition had worsened and they had figured out that he had developed pulmonary hypertension. At around 7:30am the doctor said that by noon he would make a decision whether or not to send him to Riley Children's Hospital in Indianapolis. (about 60 miles or so away.) Riley had a more advanced ventilator (that is what I think I remember him saying) and also they would treat him with nitric oxide. So we waited. In the meantime, my doctor had come in to see me and when I told him what was wrong with the baby, he was floored. He told me later that we could have knocked him over with a feather that day when he heard. But, he told me that he would discharge me early if the baby had to go to Riley.

At around 10am, the neonatologist came back in and said he had made the decision, he was sending Baby J to Riley. He had already called them and the transport team was on its way. I ventured into the shower and while I was in there, Bubba starts yelling at me to "Hurry! They are ready to leave!" So here I am trying to rush, and 2 days post c-section, one can not hurry very quickly. So I throw my clothes on and with wet hair and pink fuzzy slippers I make my way down to the NICU to say goodbye before he leaves. Thank goodness they weren't ready yet! (Thanks Bubba!) We had to sign all kinds of papers while they prepared him. The transport team was a group of 5 or 6 people from Riley. Not sure what all their titles were. Here he is after they got him all ready to go.

More wires and tubes and tape, etc... Posted by Hello

This is similar to the one he was transported in.  Posted by Hello

To be continued..again...
posted by Angie @ 9:11 PM  
  • At 8:06 AM, Blogger Jennifer said…

    Oh my goodness I don't know how you didn't have a heart attack! That must have been extremely scary! I'm hoping by your flickr photos that tells us this story has a happy ending? Can't wait to read the rest.

    I've added you to my blogroll :)

  • At 8:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That's not cool! Don't leave us hangin' girl! We want to know the end!! (Oh, Michelle sent me!)

    Mouthy Mom

  • At 8:21 AM, Blogger Tammy said…

    Ok, we need the rest of the story. What a brave mom you are.

    Michele sent me!

  • At 12:15 PM, Blogger -xtessa- said…

    i'm just bawling here!!! don't leave me hanging!!!

    the pics reminded me of anya... she was a premie and had the same tubes and oxygen thingie.;)

    seriously awaiting next post!!!

  • At 2:07 PM, Blogger lauritajuanitasanchez said…

    You can never fully appreciate how much anxiety a child can inspire until you have one yourself.

    I'm just imagining what you went though with all those post partum hormones racing through your brain. It's a hard time when your baby is problem free. I can seriously not imagine what it would be like if your baby is struggling for life like Baby J.

    Waiting for your next post...

  • At 5:04 PM, Blogger aka_monty said…

    I'm so sorry you had to go through that~I know how tough it is. :(

    Remind me sometime to show you some pics of my little spider monkeys with all their tubes & wires..

    Very terrifying, yes?

  • At 6:02 PM, Anonymous Mike said…

    Jesus! I had a friend who had a premie at 6 months. We visited her in the NICU all the time. She's 12 years old now and doing great.

  • At 6:53 PM, Blogger Angie said…

    Terrifying, YES!

  • At 7:24 PM, Blogger Cathy said…

    My first baby had a pneumothorax but without the complications that you experienced. I remember sitting alone in the hospital bed while everyone else was hovered in the NICU waiting room. You have done a wonderful job of sharing the feelings that NICU families have.

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