Friday, June 10, 2005

My serious post--part 1 (this will be LONG and include photos)

Ever since I started this blog, I had this vision of what I would write about. I would be witty and insightful and I thought I would hold my own against some of the best bloggers out there. Then, I actually started the blog and got going and it didn't happen that way. I often think of topics to bring to my blog and then I start writing, realize that I am not making a point so I erase it and write about the silly stuff. In light of that, I have decided to write about something serious. It's a story about my son's birth. It's about our miracle.

I'll start at the beginning. I had our second daughter and second child 10 years after our first in July of 2001. In late July of 2002, I realized I was pregnant. Again. Already. I was not happy. I admit it. I didn't want to have another so soon after Tater, but at that point, it was just a tad too late. :) I didn't tell anyone for a while. Not even my husband. I was trying desperately to be happy about it but I wasn't feeling good and I was also wondering how in the world we would afford another. On the other hand, I would then feel tremendous guilt about not being overwhelmed with happiness. So, I was in a bad mood, bitchy and all that for a few days..a couple of weeks...I'm not sure.

We had tickets to see The Dave Matthews Band in early August of 2002, so I figured that was when I would tell Bubba. The day before the concert, I was feeling sick and in a terrible mood. I was going to the bathroom every 10 minutes trying to stave off any barfing that wanted to come. I sat down in the recliner and Bubba came over to me and asked if I was sick. I think I said yes, or something. And then he asked, "Are you pregnant." I was stunned...then I cried.

Fast forward several months and I was happier. I had liked being pregnant again. I always liked being pregnant very much. We got the c-section scheduled. I had two previous c-sections so the docs weren't really interested in letting me try a vaginal birth. Frankly, I wasn't all that interested in a uterine rupture, so it was fine with me. Tuesday, March 18th was the scheduled day. I think it was scheduled for 7:30 am so we had to be there at 5:30 or 6. So starts the fun. Weighing, changing into the beautiful hospital gown, iv started, being shaved and cathed, drinking the anti nausea stuff. Ugh.

I was humongo!! Guard Girl has grown up and gotten thinner. And Big Bubba Ump lookin' all scrubs-y.

In the operating room I got my epidural. Actually, it was a spinal this time. That is the one thing I was most scared of. I was pretty paranoid this time and felt like I could go in to hysterics at any moment. I didn't of course. There was a really great student nurse in there with me who talked me through it and helped me breathe. They got me all arranged and draped and all that and it was time so they pulled Bubba-ump in. I had lots of scar tissue from the other 2 c-sections so it seemed to take FOREVER to get the baby out. The doc was surprised because the baby was breach and had to be pulled out butt first. I couldn't see a thing of course, but they held the baby up and said "What is it dad?" And he looked down at me and all I could see was his eyes as big as saucers and I knew it had to be a boy. He finally said, "Boy!" All I could say was "I told you! I told you!" through my tears. You see, he thought it had to be a girl. He never thought we would have a boy. So, I watched as they took him over to the warming table to check him out and I realized he wasn't crying and he looked awfully limp. They were suctioning him and doing whatever needed to be done...and I was still crying but now I was mumbling, "come on, come on, come on." Bubba was saying "Is he going to be ok?" Finally, a cry! The biggest relief of my life! So Bubba watched as the doc performed my tubal and the peds watched the baby's breathing. They did have to hold the oxygen tube to his face to help out a little. Bubba then got to take the baby out and show the family as they finished closing me up. I will never forget hearing my Doc ask the neonatal doc what the Apgar's were. I almost fainted when I heard "2 and 8." 2! Wow.

After he finally started to cry.

Moving on to the recovery room and the lower half of my body is still so numb, I have absolutely NO PAIN! This is a wonderful thing.(it ended up that I had no pain for almost 2 days!) Bubba came in to see me and told me Baby J was taken to the NICU and put under an oxygen thingie.(that is the technical term in case you are wondering.) Finally, the neonatologist came in to explain things. Seems all the fluid hadn't been expelled from his lungs and it was causing some problems. I had faith in him and in the nurses so I wasn't too worried. As I recovered, Bubba brought me in a couple of polaroids that the nurses took, because I had barely gotten to see him.

This is one of the polaroids. That's daddy holding up the oxygen thingie.

It finally came time for me to be wheeled into a real room and on the way, they wheeled me, bed and all, through the NICU for a brief look. He was doing pretty well at that time, so at that point, I still wasn't too concerned. I get to my room and the nurse helps me get all cleaned up with clean sheets and a clean gown. (at this point I STILL can't feel a thing below my waist.) All of the sudden I felt a little sick and I told the nurse that I thought I needed something (a bucket) just in case. She turned to get one and that fast I puked all over the place. I couldn't hold it in! That poor nurse had worked so hard to get me cleaned up and she had to do it all over again. Luckily, Bubba walked in just as I was puking, so he helped her change me and the sheets again. (Have I mentioned, to those of you who don't have children, how you just lose all modesty?? Well, you do.)

Jameson stayed in the NICU all that day, doing fairly well. Meanwhile, I had visitors whom I barely remember being there because I was barely able to keep my eyes open, either from the meds or from the long day. I was moved to a private room. (yay!) All I had to show my visitors was the polaroid photos. I still hadn't gotten to hold him at this point nor had I seen him since that brief run through the NICU. Everybody went home and I settled in and tried to get some real sleep. All was well until about 11:30 that night.

To be continued...

posted by Angie @ 8:07 PM

7 Comments:

At 9:14 PM, carmilevy said…

Howdy. Michele sent me. Every time I see a post on a baby's entry into the world, I get chills. The to be continued suggests this isn't your standard experience, though. I can't wait to read more about your miracle.
At 9:19 PM, Jennifer said…

Hi. Your name was above mine in Micheles weekend meet and greet. I'm very glad I stoped in. What an amazing story! I too have had two c-section. Still waiting to win the lottery to see about a third or forth.

with an ending like "until about 11:30 to be continued!!! I'll definatly be back to read some more.
At 11:17 PM, Tracy S said…

I love your writing style personally :) I am loving the post and can't wait to hear the rest of it ...
At 11:20 PM, Unknown said…

Okay,, sentimental big baby Tara is already sitting here with tears in her eyes waiting to read the rest of the story. Now I can't wait to get home tomorrow from the family reunion I am going to and read your blog!!

By the way you are welcome to come and visit anytime!!
At 11:20 PM, Unknown said…

OOH and finally glad to see a picture of Ang at last! Even if it's a few years old.
At 6:50 PM, Angie said…

Thanks, guys!

Tara, I hate EVERY SINGLE PHOTO ever taken of me so you got lucky with this one! :)
At 10:17 AM, sea said…

Angie:
I'm so glad you have sent me this series of posts. I look forward to continued reading. Thank you so much for sharing this personal story. It is beautifully written.